Clueless

There are moments in cross-cultural settings where I feel totally clueless. Or I do something strange that might leave the other party thinking either they're missing something, or I am. Somehow, someone is clueless.

Like when I keep wanting to shake everyone's hands... The Taiwanese don't really do a lot of that. In Kenya, you shake hands with a LOT of people EVERY DAY. You rarely say hi to someone (even neighbors you pass on the footpath, or kids walking by the river, or colleagues whom you may have already seen earlier) without shaking hands.

So when I walked into the choir office tonight, it felt so very wrong NOT to shake hands with people I recognized. Or new people I met. There were a few times I actually shook hands, because it was appropriate to do so, but almost every time I got the "umm, did I miss something? am I clueless? or are you foreigners just weird?" look.

Speaking of choir. it did my heart well to be back at choir! Talk about being clueless, though... Everything is in Chinese. Actually, we're singing a Schubert piece in German and Mendelssohn's Elijah in English, but all the talking is in Chinese. So I've got to learn music terms in Chinese again. 'Cause I'm mostly following the instructions by watching the conductor's body language when he stops us, or simply paying very close attention to what my neighbors do. 'Cause I don't want to be totally clueless and make a fool of myself.

Which is inevitable.

But I avoid it when I can.

Speaking of avoiding things, I had a bizarre encounter in the subway station today. I noticed a 20-some-year-old blind guy walking through the busy main station with his walking stick, but talking on his cell phone. He was so into the phone call (looked like it had to be a girl he likes on the other side...) that he wasn't paying any attention to what he was doing.

So he walked straight to the escalator that was coming up. He wanted to go down. And because he wasn't paying attention, he was ready to step onto the fast-moving steps (going in the wrong direction). People just watched. I ran over and grabbed his arm, apologizing profusely for intruding, and explaining that he would've fallen. He just smiled and kept talking on the phone. It was really a bizarre situation. I have a very dear friend who is blind, and I'd never ever think of yanking her arm. But I also know that she pays attention to where she goes... If I saw her heading into a dangerous situation, I'd yell. But I didn't know how to yell "Stop!" in Chinese, so I grabbed the guy's arm. Oh, well, I may have been clueless, but at least the twitterpated young man isn't toothless tonight!

Very last thing before I go to sleep: I've been passing a series of pictures in one of the subway stations, as you take this really-really long escalator ride to change from the blue line to the brown line. It's an ad for Benjamin Button, and the one poster has a poignant quote at the bottom that I've been looking at every time I pass on the escalator. It says,

"Your life is defined by its opportunities... even the ones you miss."

I think more often than not, we're clueless about the opportunities we have missed. Chances to do something new. To try something new. To help someone. To make a difference in someone's day, or in their life.

But tonight, as I was going by that poster after almost 3 hours of singing my heart out, practicing Elijah, I thought, "I'm so glad I didn't miss this opportunity to be part of something so beautiful... despite the fact that I risk doing something silly 'cause I don't really understand everything the conductor says, 'cause I'm the only person in the room that speaks very little Chinese, 'cause I'm the only person in the entire room that doesn't sight sing."

Sometimes More often than not, it's worth taking the risk. Even if you end up looking clueless at times.

Sevens

Melissa tagged me. I'm supposed to write 7 random/weird facts about myself and tag 7 others. I'm not going to tag others. If you read this and feel the urge to tell us 7 random/weird things about yourself, consider yourself tagged!

So, 7 things you might not know about me:

1. I have no middle name. In my culture, we don't necessarily have middle names. Not having a middle name does not bother me. I've never had an urge to give myself a middle name. Though, I do have two other names... My Chinese name is Hwei-Hsin, which is derived from the words for wisdom and joy. (Because I desire to have wisdom, and I do have joy.) My Kalenjin name is Jeruto, which usually is given to a baby who was born while the mom was traveling. The only place my mom traveled when I was due, was to the hospital... I've been given that name since I was traveling back and forth between our two centers in Kenya. I like the name, though, since my life's been a bit of a travel adventure. Not intentionally, though. It's just been this way.
   
2. I still don't really understand American football. In fact, I have yet to really get excited about watching a football game. I love watching rugby, however. (I love that the offense and defense are on the field at the same time for the entire game. I don't get how in football teams you keep switching!) When I do watch football, it's simply to hang out with friends. My favorite sport to play, on the other hand, is actually squash or field hockey. But it's been a while since I played either. I used to coach field hockey when I was a high school English teacher. That's in a previous life. :) I do enjoy walking, though.
3. I've not had a television for several years now, and I don't miss it. I have nothing against television, but it would probably be the last luxury item on my list if ever I move someplace in the world again where I could actually get good TV shows. I miss watching international news, but try following that online. I watch television series on DVD. Some of my favorite shows are CSI, Monk, and Brothers & Sisters.
4. I'm an introvert. Many people don't believe that, but I honestly am. In fact, I describe myself as "an outgoing introvert." I need alone time to get re-energized. On the Myers-Briggs, I'm an X when it comes to I/E, meaning I'm right on the border. Same for J/P - I'm borderline for Judgment vs. Perception. But I'm very strong NF (Intuition & Feeling rather than Sensing & Thinking).
5. I am currently unemployed. Sort of. I'm in transition. I've been talking with various ministries and praying about where to serve God next. I resigned from my position at ELI with effect today. It's a journey of faith and an issue of stewardship. I believe God is asking me to trust him for this journey. I'm looking at positions in various places around the world, and could honestly end up anywhere! It's no fun being in transition, actually. As someone who likes to be focused and know what I'm doing, this really is a journey through which God is teaching me much about himself as well as about me.
   
6. I'm going to Mombasa tomorrow. The last time I was in Mombasa was in 2000, when I was living in Taiwan and was sent to Kenya to write some articles. This time, I'm going to check out some ministries, and visit friends who are spending a week at the beach. I really hope to be able to scuba dive on Sunday. I love scuba diving. Scuba, bird watching and reading might be three of my favorite pastimes.
7. I collect random factoids. Sort-of. I love reading widely and try to remember fascinating facts. With which I entertain my friends. I don't remember important things, though, like Swahili vocabulary. Or even Afrikaans vocabulary, for that matter. Afrikaans is my mother tongue, and not having constantly spoken it for the past 13 years, I get stuck on finding the right word for words I'd seldom use in Afrikaans. (Like stewardship. I was giving a talk in South Africa, and could for the life of me not figure out what it would be in Afrikaans. It's rentmeesterskap, by the way. It can be a bit embarrassing. It keeps me humble, though.) So, here's a very random fact for you: The title of this blog post is also a version of rugby. Usually, a rugby team has 15 players, but in sevens, you obviously only have seven players. These games are shorter than the regular games - typically 7 minutes on a side as opposed to 40 minutes. There. Now you know.)
   

Now, back to doing the layout on a newsletter for a colleague at ELI. :)

Non-linear thinking

• I decided not to go and take my driver's test yesterday. Thought I might not be too alert due to jetlag.
• Went this morning, but I have to produce some more pieces of mail to prove that I really have an Iowan address. So I might go back next week.
  
• Else I'll just use my South African license. Which is completely legal.
  
• I may have been the only person around Cedar Rapids wearing a coat, scarf and gloves. Some young Iowans are out in shorts and T-shirts while I'm shivering.
• It was 34 degrees this morning. It may get up to a blistering 50 degrees later in the day. Warm enough to melt all of yesterday's snow.
• Yes, we had snow yesterday.
  
• We had heavy rains yesterday afternoon, followed by an inch of snow. More, actually, but much melted thanks to the rain.
• This morning was the first morning in a while that I was back at scraping ice and snow off the window of the car I'm using.
• It was also the first morning that I was wide awake at 4 am. Got to spend 2 hours in bed, reading. Then I got up.
• Today, I get to visit with lots and lots of people at a dessert event. Tomorrow and Sunday's packed with missions events. And a wedding reception in between everything.
• I should be working on my presentation for tonight. Not a formal presentation, no. Just some pictures from the past year. Then head home to help bake a million pies for tonight.
  
• OK, I'm exaggerating, I know.
• Some people were wondering if tonight's dessert is part of the New Covenant missions weekend. Yes, it is. That's why I'm in town.
• Back to work.
  

Deep thoughts by Adele

Here's my profound thought for the day: I just don't get how anyone can use a bathroom, finish a roll of TP, and not replace it with a new roll. Even when there's a whole little row of new rolls dangling right next to them. Really. What blows my mind even more is when someone actually takes out one of those new little rolls, uses it, and carefully balances it on top of the TP dispenser.

C'mon!

I know: It's things like these that force some couples to get serious counseling. Honestly though. Why would you not replace the TP? (I'll refrain from commenting on what side I believe should be facing you. Or then again, I might as well, since I brought it up. I never used to think twice about which side a roll should face. Till a very particular colleague in a former workplace pointed out to possibly the entire department one day that it's obvious that the end should dangle on the FRONT of the roll, so you'd unroll it towards you, not away from you since it simply makes more sense that way. And since then, I actually make a point of inserting new rolls with the end facing outward. Not that it really matters, I think. It's a random, acquired habit.)

In case you're wondering, this is far from one of my major pet peeves. It's just something I wonder about every time I'm in someplace like the missionary guest house in Nairobi.

Deep thoughts, I know. My head cold is keeping me from thinking more profound thoughts today.