This morning, I joined our social worker Ruth for some home visits. The families we were to visit are both ones with pretty dismal stories, and I didn't really know what to expect. "Show us, Father, how to share the hope that we have in You," I prayed as we started the journey.
First stop: Tekla's house. This mother of six has made some improvement since people from ELI have started visiting her. But she's still trapped in alcoholism, which truly prohibits the family from making much-needed improvement. Her husband is an alcoholic, too, and he smokes bang (marijuana). One night, while he was high, he attacked their one son, trying to cut his head off.
The son survived, but his vocal cords were severed, leaving him without a voice. He is now living with someone in another community.
The dad ended up in prison, but has since been released, and everyone's dreading the day he may show up at home...
In the meantime, Tekla continues to drink while having four children at home. There's hardly a thing in their house. No food. Just some dirty pots from having cooked porridge this morning. ELI's home-based care team provides the flour for the porridge. They've learned not to bring more than she can cook in just a few days since she trades food for alcohol.
Tekla wasn't there when we showed up, so we got to visit with the kids for a while. Jeptoo, the 8-year-old, reminds me a lot of Jemutai. She's yet another young girl who basically has to care for younger siblings... Ruth has been encouraging Jeptoo to help their 3-year-old sister Jesang to walk. Jesang is about the size of my American neighbors' 1-year-old. She doesn't walk. She hardly talks. We suspect it's from neglect, but Ruth is taking her to a clinic in town later this week to see if it might be a physical handicap. In the meantime, Jeptoo is shown how to hold Jesang's hand and carefully help her to take little steps.
While the girls are working on walking, 6-year-old Cosmas quietly plays with his baby brother, Victor, who is just shy of 2 years old. "Cosmas has a severe stutter," Ruth explains later, "so he doesn't talk much." But Victor is oblivious to the trails his older siblings have faced. His age has been the protecting factor, just like in the case of Kipruto.
We leave later with a promise of being back. I call the guys from our AA ministry, and they commit to come and visit Tekla, to talk to her about joining our November intake at Kipkaren. "Things will be better, Adele," Ruth assures me. "They already are. But the mom must stop drinking..."
A 40-minute-or-so walk from there, we stop at our next home for the morning, that of Lillian, the mom with twins. Her home is a stark contrast with the one we had just visited. The compound has been swept. Clean laundry is hanging on the line.
"Karibu!" the young mom says with a big smile. Her hair has been wound into small balls, and as we sit down in her sparse living room, she cannot stop fiddling with her hair, constantly twisting new balls. It looks cute, but I can't help but wonder about the mom. She's just . . . different.
We ask about her babies and she's happy to report that she's now producing more milk, but not enough to sustain both. "She's still feeding the babies uji," Ruth translates. "She says porridge has more nutrition than milk..." Riiiiight. For 2-month-olds! "And she says she's adding Blue Band [margarine] to fatten them up." I just about swallowed my tongue.
We visit more, and she tells us that she still gets really bad dreams. I pray for her before we head out, but somehow, I just can't seem to find the right words to pray. I don't know why.
Ruth stays behind to talk to her about family planning. The 29-year-old isn't interested. "I can't take shots," she explains to Ruth. "I have cancer."
"What kind of cancer?"
"It moves all over my body..."
"Would she be willing to give them formula if I bought it?" I ask Ruth on the walk home.
"We can try!"
Lillian used to brew alcohol for an income, but no longer does it. Typically, she sells her body to make money...
We walk home in silence. What can we do for our neighbor? Her problems go far deeper than producing enough milk for her twins. It's more than postpartem depression. I am no doctor, so I cannot say, but others talk of schizophrenia. And some major spiritual issues.
Where's the hope in this? 1 Peter 3:15 says, "Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you and accounting for the hope that is in you." I know my hope is in Christ. He gives meaning to my life. But I've never gone to bed hungry. I've not had a parent abuse me, or be psychologically unstable. How is it possible to keep the hope when your world is far less than simple.
God knew I needed an answer, that this week, more questions seem to be coming forth from my side than I can find simple answers for. So he sent Nellie to my door.
"Adele! I praise God for this chance to see you!" my friend said with all sincerity as she gave me the biggest hug. She's here for an interview, and still has to make the couple-hour journey back home, so we cannot visit for long.
As we walk over to the children's home so she can see her nephew and niece, she cannot contain her joy. "I have to tell you! My mother is now sober!"
"How did that happen??!"
"She just quit drinking one day! God has answered my prayers of many years. I cried for one week. Tears of joy, really. Our home is a different place. Imagine... my mom can now cook for us. I can find a job!"
Sydney and Niva smile the biggest smiles I've seen in a while when they see their aunt walking over. They give her huge hugs and fumble to find the right words. Having lived in a Swahili-speaking environment for a year now, they've forgotten much of their mother tongue. Nellie switches to Swahili and tells them news from Mt. Elgon, of cousins who send greetings. Then she tells them that gogo no longer drinks. Their little smiles cannot get any bigger!
"It's ONLY because of God, Adele," Nellie assures me as I drive her to the main road. "I have seen God break through so many areas! Now, people are starting to say in my village, 'I want my daughter to be like Nellie. I don't want her to undergo FGM.' Imagine! God is answering my prayers."
Indeed. Nellie was the first girl in her village to refuse FGM. She was shunned by her community and by her family. Yet she stayed on so she could serve her alcoholic parents and her siblings who were dying of AIDS. Today, people are starting to follow her example.
When I finally drop her at the matatu stage, my heart is light. God does indeed answer prayers. And though change happens slowly in rural Kenya, it does happen. It takes only one to stand up against cultural practices that have gone unchallenged for too many years.
As for cases like that of Tekla and Lillian, it takes a village to come alongside these families. To love and support them. To show them Christ's love.
I am infinitely grateful to be part of a village and a ministry who is doing just that.
Showing posts with label ELI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ELI. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Finding Hope
Sunday, June 17, 2007
What a day!
This was one of those days that was packed with all kinds of good things.
I left home early, hitching a ride with a colleague since my car needs to go in for gearbox repairs. (Or it could be clutch repairs... I'm hoping it's the latter.)
We picked up a family from the area whose son needed to go to the hospital. The 9-year-old boy is deaf, and recently, his entire left side has gone totally numb. The doctors aren't able to figure out what is wrong. I felt really badly for the kid, especially since he seems to have never seen a mzungu before, so having me in the car was rather traumatic. Every time I'd turn around to talk to the growing number of neighbors getting rides, he'd start crying... I decided not to turn their way so the boy could relax.
The family got dropped at the hospital, neighbors and I got dropped at various places in town, and then Laban left to pick up a new intern at the airport. I was maybe 15 minutes early for the meeting I was to lead for the Kipkaren teachers. They had really wanted to leave Kipkaren at 6 am and have a full day, but since part of the purpose of the day was to relax, the headmaster (Mr. Rop) and I agreed that they could leave at 8:30 instead, which would have them to their first event by 9:30. They ended up leaving Kipkaren around 9:45. (Remember: There's no hurry in Africa.)
So the first event of the day was scratched from the program. (One of the keys to success in Africa: Be flexible.) We were to have chai at Poa Place, a local park/restaurant/pool, and play some table games. We still had chai, but sadly the group could only be there for about forty minutes before we had to leave for the place where we'd have lunch and the rest of the afternoon's activities: Kerio View.
And yes, we really had to leave since I had already ordered lunch for everyone and they were expecting us at a specific time. (I had called to postpone lunch by half an hour, else we'd have just gulped down the tea, which wouldn't have exactly been relaxing.)
So we drove to Kerio View where the team of teachers and some spouses were amazed by the view and the beauty of their area. Of the 16 people there, only three of us had ever been to Kerio View. Most of the team are from this area. They simply have never had a chance to travel and see much of their area, let alone their country.
We had a wonderfully relaxing lunch, where after I led a few activities in a gazebo at the rim of the valley. First, the team did the human knot, and I had the quietest teachers be the leaders. We really had a great time debriefing the activity!
Next, I had each one share about the teacher who had the most profound effect on their life, and we talked about the common denominator in each of these stories (i.e. individual care/attention). We had a chat about their roles as teachers and how they can strive to have the same kind of effect on the lives of their students.
We ended with a fun activity where they were lined up on a little wall and had to change sides without stepping off the wall (one side had "lava" and the other side was filled with crocodile-infested water). I wasn't sure how this activity would translate cross-culturally, since you really get into each others' personal space, but they seemed to have no problem with it. The purpose of the activity was to emphasize how we need each other in overcoming obstacles.
I had a number of other activities planned, but those will have to wait for another time. We wanted to get back to Ilula so they could meet our children, get a tour of the school and children's home, and join devotions. They really seemed to enjoy seeing how far our kids have come in Ilula, how well they could speak English, what confidence they exude!
For dinner, I also invited the teachers from Samro, the school in Ilula. Though the Kenyan way is to have many speeches, I asked if we could just visit instead, and only have the headmasters and the children's home director say a few words. Both headmasters emphasized how much they appreciated being able to visit with their colleagues and to exchange ideas. The teachers also exchanged phone numbers and some were talking about getting together to talk about specific ideas.
We closed the fellowship with a time of prayer for the teachers, which turned out to be a really moving time of the children's home parents praying for the teachers.
As the Ilula (Samro) teachers and the rest of us non-Kipkaren-school-staff left, the Brook of Faith teachers started a meeting to evaluate goals set earlier in the year and to plan the steps ahead. (It's three hours later and they just got done with the meeting.) In the meantime, the rest of us got together and played Uno, Yatzee, and watched an episode of Monk.
One teacher told me at dinner, "You know, I could not imagine why we should leave Poa Place. It was so beautiful there. But when we got to Kerio Valley, I was amazed. You cannot know what a gift today was to us. I have passed Kerio View so many times - my college used to be right close to it - but I never knew there was such a beautiful place right there. And to have the time to visit and do the activities was really special."
To those of you who are part of my support team: Thank you for how you blessed the teachers today through being part of the work God is doing in their midst.
The team will drive back to Kipkaren after breakfast and some songs by the Ilula kids. I'll stay behind since I'll be speaking at staff devotions on Monday. Please pray for me as I prepare to share with the staff on Monday.
Thanks again for the role you play in the ministry here in Western Kenya.
(I'll upload pictures tomorrow.)
I left home early, hitching a ride with a colleague since my car needs to go in for gearbox repairs. (Or it could be clutch repairs... I'm hoping it's the latter.)
We picked up a family from the area whose son needed to go to the hospital. The 9-year-old boy is deaf, and recently, his entire left side has gone totally numb. The doctors aren't able to figure out what is wrong. I felt really badly for the kid, especially since he seems to have never seen a mzungu before, so having me in the car was rather traumatic. Every time I'd turn around to talk to the growing number of neighbors getting rides, he'd start crying... I decided not to turn their way so the boy could relax.
The family got dropped at the hospital, neighbors and I got dropped at various places in town, and then Laban left to pick up a new intern at the airport. I was maybe 15 minutes early for the meeting I was to lead for the Kipkaren teachers. They had really wanted to leave Kipkaren at 6 am and have a full day, but since part of the purpose of the day was to relax, the headmaster (Mr. Rop) and I agreed that they could leave at 8:30 instead, which would have them to their first event by 9:30. They ended up leaving Kipkaren around 9:45. (Remember: There's no hurry in Africa.)
So the first event of the day was scratched from the program. (One of the keys to success in Africa: Be flexible.) We were to have chai at Poa Place, a local park/restaurant/pool, and play some table games. We still had chai, but sadly the group could only be there for about forty minutes before we had to leave for the place where we'd have lunch and the rest of the afternoon's activities: Kerio View.
And yes, we really had to leave since I had already ordered lunch for everyone and they were expecting us at a specific time. (I had called to postpone lunch by half an hour, else we'd have just gulped down the tea, which wouldn't have exactly been relaxing.)
So we drove to Kerio View where the team of teachers and some spouses were amazed by the view and the beauty of their area. Of the 16 people there, only three of us had ever been to Kerio View. Most of the team are from this area. They simply have never had a chance to travel and see much of their area, let alone their country.
We had a wonderfully relaxing lunch, where after I led a few activities in a gazebo at the rim of the valley. First, the team did the human knot, and I had the quietest teachers be the leaders. We really had a great time debriefing the activity!
Next, I had each one share about the teacher who had the most profound effect on their life, and we talked about the common denominator in each of these stories (i.e. individual care/attention). We had a chat about their roles as teachers and how they can strive to have the same kind of effect on the lives of their students.
We ended with a fun activity where they were lined up on a little wall and had to change sides without stepping off the wall (one side had "lava" and the other side was filled with crocodile-infested water). I wasn't sure how this activity would translate cross-culturally, since you really get into each others' personal space, but they seemed to have no problem with it. The purpose of the activity was to emphasize how we need each other in overcoming obstacles.
I had a number of other activities planned, but those will have to wait for another time. We wanted to get back to Ilula so they could meet our children, get a tour of the school and children's home, and join devotions. They really seemed to enjoy seeing how far our kids have come in Ilula, how well they could speak English, what confidence they exude!
For dinner, I also invited the teachers from Samro, the school in Ilula. Though the Kenyan way is to have many speeches, I asked if we could just visit instead, and only have the headmasters and the children's home director say a few words. Both headmasters emphasized how much they appreciated being able to visit with their colleagues and to exchange ideas. The teachers also exchanged phone numbers and some were talking about getting together to talk about specific ideas.
We closed the fellowship with a time of prayer for the teachers, which turned out to be a really moving time of the children's home parents praying for the teachers.
As the Ilula (Samro) teachers and the rest of us non-Kipkaren-school-staff left, the Brook of Faith teachers started a meeting to evaluate goals set earlier in the year and to plan the steps ahead. (It's three hours later and they just got done with the meeting.) In the meantime, the rest of us got together and played Uno, Yatzee, and watched an episode of Monk.
One teacher told me at dinner, "You know, I could not imagine why we should leave Poa Place. It was so beautiful there. But when we got to Kerio Valley, I was amazed. You cannot know what a gift today was to us. I have passed Kerio View so many times - my college used to be right close to it - but I never knew there was such a beautiful place right there. And to have the time to visit and do the activities was really special."
To those of you who are part of my support team: Thank you for how you blessed the teachers today through being part of the work God is doing in their midst.
The team will drive back to Kipkaren after breakfast and some songs by the Ilula kids. I'll stay behind since I'll be speaking at staff devotions on Monday. Please pray for me as I prepare to share with the staff on Monday.
Thanks again for the role you play in the ministry here in Western Kenya.
(I'll upload pictures tomorrow.)
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
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