Never Alone

Earlier this week, my colleague Juli gave me a copy of a CD she had made after joining ELI and moving to our training center in Kipkaren.

One of the songs especially ministered to my heart today. It's called "Never Alone."

Calling me to go
Through the path I do not know
Replacing all my fears
Lord, you've caught all my tears
You are leading me
You are guiding me
I'm never alone.

Who are you?
And who does that make me?
All of my life, I'll search to see...
'Cause there's a chance
and there is a choice.
I hear your voice
You are leading me
I am never alone.

But if you won't go with me
Don't let me take a step
If you won't go with me
Then what's the point at all?

I know that I know God called me to be here and led me here. I know He has a purpose for me being here. But some days, it feels terribly alone. Weekends, especially Sundays, can be tough. It's the day I always feel too far from people who love me and know me well, people whom I love and have known for a long time.

Yet I know that I'm never alone. I know God is with me. I know I am where I'm supposed to be right now.

It doesn't make it any less lonely, though.

I called a good friend to talk on the phone, and she made the most profound statement which made us both laugh, it's so obvious. "I think, Adele, that life on the mission field is much harder on single missionaries..."

Tell me about it!

I was thinking today what makes life in Eldoret harder than life in Taipei. There, I was illiterate! I was living in a culture very different from that which I was used to. Here, even though I don't understand a lot of Swahili yet, I can read signs, and the people around me are African, like where I grew up. So why, right now, is it harder for me to be here than in Taiwan?

Taipei is a city, with lots of people to meet and places to explore. Even before I had a car, there was very good public transportation which I could take to walk in the mountains on Sundays after church. Eventually, I could communicate well in Chinese, was involved in various communities in the city and in our church. I was able to enjoy culture, go to museums, exhibits, sing in the philharmonic choir.

Right now, this little village in Kenya feels very, very small...

I have to remember that even in Taiwan, there were times that I did feel very alone, in the wrong place. But I was there for more than 7 years, and it became home. I have to remember that I'm still adjusting to life here, and making friends takes time, as does learning the language.

I'm never alone.
I know.
And that's what pulls me through.